An Unflinching Look at Internet “Guru Pop” Culture (and the Gong Show We Keep Tuning In To)

Is it just me or has online business not really gotten over itself yet? Are we web marketers, coaches and consultants too concerned with ourselves and what our Internet pals are up to? Are we unaware that life goes on outside the four walls of our quaint home offices? Much like the trajectory of a still very adolescent Internet, I think us online biz types are acting a little adolescent too. As a result, the bullies and the jocks are pretty much running the show, and everyone else is going along for the ride, consciously or unconsciously.

Such is the nature of “Guru Pop” culture on a still-very-hormonal Internet.

If we were all grown ups about what we do for a living, I think a lot less people would be so willing to consume Guru Pop, and a lot more people would be making at least mildly informed decisions about their online marketing before pulling out the credit card. And if you want hard evidence, I can think of at least 5 times in the past couple of months when I’ve had to lead a lamb out of the slaughterhouse:

Guru Pop Exhibit 1: “I bought this awesome domain. Oh my Gawd I can’t believe I actually got this domain. I think I can start my online business now. Can you help me?”

Guru Pop Exhibit 2: “I’m so embarrassed to tell you this but XYZ company sold me an e-commerce software package for $[insert exorbitant number here] thousand dollars. I bought it months ago, and I’m still not sure how it works.”

Guru Pop Exhibit 3: “I just gave $200 to a woman who said she could get me to page 1 of Google by this weekend for [insert randomly selected keyword phrase here]. Did I just get taken, or should I wait and see what happens?”

Guru Pop Exhibit 4: “I spent $[insert exorbitant number here] thousand dollars on an Internet marketing program, but now I have this horrible looking website that I don’t know how to update or market to buyers.”

Guru Pop Exhibit 5: “Our website has been up for over a year and we get no activity on it at all. We don’t even come up on page 1 for our company name! What’s worse is that we have no clue how to update the content, and investors are getting outdated information. Our agency is totally unresponsive too. Now what?”

We marketers and online types snicker at these scenarios, but they’re NOT uncommon. In fact, Guru Pop economy is thriving, despite the fact that most of the gurus are either selling snake oil or themselves have no clue what they’re doing. And let’s be honest, it’s not just the Top-40 guru pop stars who blame the customer for not having his head on straight. (And then send him a bill.)

To be sure, I’m approached by people who really aren’t capable of understanding business and what it takes to “make it.” People who insist there is a way to make money fast, sometimes unethically. I turn them away. However, MOST of the folks I talk to are honest, hard working and otherwise intelligent individuals. Offline they seem to be doing just fine in their chosen ventures.

It’s precisely the moment they decide to explore what the Internet can do for their business or their business aspirations that everything goes south in a hurry, because there are only too many web designers, ad agencies and online marketers willing to take their money in exchange for the Kool-Aid.

What can we do to curtail consumption of Guru Pop marketing and empower the consumer?

Can we demystify the web marketing black box enough so that the Kool-Aid starts tasting like the thin, sugary crap it is and Guru Pop loses its allure? What are we doing right now in our own businesses to make web marketing WORK better for business owners? How can we proactively HELP consumers of marketing to get the most bang for their buck?

In my own business I follow some unwritten rules for dealing with prospective clients. Though I’m sure there’s even more we can do, here’s a start:

1) Ask questions before asking for money. Sometimes the consumer thinks he needs one thing when really he needs another. It’s our job as marketers, coaches and consultants to assess the situation and then transact (or not) with the consumer responsibly. Just because someone asks for a website–and has the money to pay for one–doesn’t mean you should build him a website.

2) Stop talking Guru, and start talking human. Consumers of marketing are tired of getting snowed with web speak they can’t understand. Yet they continue to spend money on bad marketing because they hope that eventually someone will either enlighten them or make their marketing work.

3) Respect the fear. Entrepreneurship is not for the faint of heart, no matter what kind of business venture you decide to pursue. Putting one’s ass on the line, especially online, freaks people out. They feel like the world is watching and it makes them nervous. In turn, decisions aren’t always made with a clear head. We’ve all been there; we still go there in our businesses. Let’s try to understand what “the jump” feels like for our customer.

It’s not brain surgery. It’s answering the very obvious need to return to our humanity as business people, but especially as marketers. We don’t need more Gurus. We need more leadership.

What do you think? I’m sure there are many more cries for action and change out there. What are they?